


satine and her long lost love (who is married and doesn't love her back)

by pink_lemonnn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, obi wan has no interest in satine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:35:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28924461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pink_lemonnn/pseuds/pink_lemonnn
Summary: The Duchess of Mandalore knew she was a hopeless romantic. For years she waited for a man she could never have. And she knew she’d wait a million more, just to see him once again.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	satine and her long lost love (who is married and doesn't love her back)

The Duchess of Mandalore knew she was a hopeless romantic. For years she waited for a man she could never have. And she knew she’d wait a million more, just to see him once again.

They had become close, long ago. He was still just a padawan at the time- his rugged hair could only be described as _captivating_. His little ponytail he wore tight to his scalp, the buzzed top that appeared golden when it caught the light just right, and his braid. That braid made her feel things she had never felt before. Oh, and not to mention that clean shaven face. It made her knees weak. Never in her life had she ever seen such a beautiful man.

Of course, that had been nearly 15 years ago. Satine was sure Obi Wan would age like a fine wine, or a nice cheese. And after years and years of waiting, he was coming back to her. Even if it was just for a diplomatic mission, he would still be here. They could rekindle their flame into a great bonfire- the greatest love story though the whole galaxy! Satine’s heart may not have had wings, but it sure was flying.

She waited eagerly where Obi Wan’s ship would land. The sky was blank, not a ship to be seen. Not even a cloud. Her excitement dwindled down bit by bit as the hours passed. The sky grew dark, and so did her mood. Her dumbass nephew tried to be nice and brought her a blanket, but Satine couldn’t stand the meddling son of a bitch. If she weren’t a pacifist she would’ve decked the kid years ago.

The night came and went without a sign of her long lost love. The time passed quickly for Satine as she imagined the sorts of conversations they would have. She could tell Obi Wan all about her endeavors to smother the violence in Mandalore, how excellent she was at forcing the peace. He’d be proud of her.

Satine waited through the night and into the next morning, not getting a wink of sleep. There was no way she’d risk being unconscious for the return of her beloved. Her everything. The sun had been up for a few hours when she started getting hungry. That wankstain she called a nephew didn’t bring her anything to eat or drink. Typical. He never did anything right.

At midday, a small ship finally landed. Two men- no, one man and a clone (derogatory) emerged. Satine couldn’t help but scowl. She desperately wanted those unnatural test tube experiments off her planet. They had no place here.

And Obi Wan… Satine hadn’t even realized she had her hand over her mouth. This was not the man she fell in love with. Wine she thought. Cheese. No. He aged like milk in the hot sun. He aged like damp bread in a ziploc bag. He aged like things that don’t age well.

The tears came almost immediately. Her beautiful, beautiful man… replaced with a monster. His hair was wrong. The short buzz was gone, his perfect little ponytail- _gone_. His braid… _g o n e_. If that wasn’t bad enough, his face was covered with facial hair. The man had a thick beard and moustache. She could hardly look at it. Satine had always considered herself to be a woman with an iron stomach, but Obi Wan’s hair was enough to make even the strongest of Mandolorians nauseated. The flame she wished to rekindle only hours before, smothered. Obi Wan’s hideous locks made sure of that.

“Are you alright Duchess?”

Satine hadn’t realized her former love had approached her. The clone stood idly behind him. She didn’t know which she hated more, the monstrous follicle jungle resting atop Obi Wan’s head or the mindless, created-for-war bucket head who dared to call itself a person.

“Oh Obi…” she shook her head. “No,” she gave him a sad smile, hoping to save him some heartache. “This,” she gestured to the pair of them “will never work,”

Obi Wan and the clone exchanged looks though Satine was much too oblivious to notice it. Or the matching rings they wore around their fingers.

“Im sorry?”

Satine put a finger to his lips. “No, _I’m_ sorry. Maybe things would be different if you fixed that hair…” Her finger dropped down. “You were beautiful. But you aren’t the man I loved. Not anymore. Goodbye Obi Wan,”

She let her dress flick behind her as she turned with dramatic effect. It’s one of her favorite power moves- her dress sways as she walks and she never looks back- always leaving them wanting more.

“Uhh, Satine?” Obi Wan called.

There it was. They always begged her to come back. Maybe he was offering to fix his hair so they could finally be together. It was too late for that. He had his chance. She continued to walk, listening to her boots clack against the floor.

“Satine, wait! We have negotiations to work out!”

**Author's Note:**

> of all the dumb shit i've written in my life, this ranks top 4 for sure
> 
> and the clone is cody


End file.
